Transcript of my brother Pat's speech
BRINGING UP BABY
A short introduction by
P.N.G. Culleton
I went to bed early on the 3rd. of June 1947!.I was 6 and a half years of age, happy an blissfully unaware that within a few short hours, my life and that of my family was about to change dramatically.
I awoke next morning the 4th. Of June to the sound of my father's voice announcing to my brother Jerry and I. “ You have a new baby brother. We were ushered into my parent's bedroom, where in the bed to the left of my mother lay a bundle of joy, later to be named Brendan.!!
He was the sixth boy to be born to my parents --- Tom, John, (myself) Pat, Jerry, and Mattie-All traditional family names, and now Brendan.
It was decided to break with tradition naming him Brendan --- perhaps my parents knew that he was going to be different to the rest of us--- How right they were.
Well we saw and inspected him, never once asking about where he had come from and, not understanding or caring about sex---in any case there never was any sexual carry on in our house. We were all found under cabbage leaves.
Can we go out and play now? , and get on with the rest of our lives.
Thank You.
That was our first introduction to our brother Brendan.
1947 was a very dramatic, traumatic, and indeed a very sad year in our house.
Joy for Brendan's arrival.
Sadness and trauma at Tom's departure to college to prepare for priesthood and the African missions.
Great sadness and terrible loss at the death of our beautiful brother Mattie at the age of only 2 and a half years of age.
Tom and John as two,Pat and Jerry as two, Mattie and Brendan as two, (to pal and play together).
Mattie and Brendan not to be.
So Brendan,Jerry, and ,Pat became 3.
I am not saying that I was an angel , but I seldom got into physical tiffs with my siblings, but that cannot be said about Jerry and Brendan.
Sometimes skin and hair would fly, usually caused by baby.
Cries tantrums , blood and guts
I was pursued by my mother with her famous dishcloth and held to task for all the upheaval---- no matter how I tried to explain that I was not involved or to blame for the mayhem, it was still insisted by my poor unfortunate, long suffering mother that I was the eldest “ I should have known better” and WHAM I got it.
I thought many times about killing this baby monster, but kept putting it off.
Was I very stupid ?.
Brendan went to hospital to have his tonsils out, in our innocence ( or was it hope ) we thought he was going to have his throat cut.
There was so much peace in the house that we really missed him and wished him home.
Covering the armchair with a bedspread we made it into a throne for his return and went to the hospital to welcome him back.
To say that he winged and played petty on the way home is an understatement.
He was so annoying and attention seeking that I decided to tell him the truth about himself.
“YOU'RE ADOPTED, YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE CALLED BRENDAN "
He wasn't too pleased about this and insisted that I was telling him lies, crying and wailing as he protested about this terrible revelation.
I enjoyed that, but to this day he doesn't realize that I was telling the truth.
He was enthroned, sat in the chair but still managed to be obnoxious proclaiming that everybody hated him and that” life was a bitch”.
---" I don't think I liked him"---
I was often left minding and taking care of him as he was strapped into his pram.
The Bergins and the McCanns were in much the same boat with minding their baby brothers and sisters in their prams.
We used the prams as racing cars and bending in between the handles of the prams we ran pell mell around the square racing one another.
Many is the time I hit a kerb with the wheels of the pram toppling it over, causing baby to dangle upside down by his reins from the pram. I don't know how he managed to survive but, I suppose my darling mother always managed to get him loose before he strangled.
"I never managed to get it right"
My father was just about to return to work after his lunch break. (he had been playing cowboys and Indians with Brendan who had a big cap rifle and was going bang bang at everybody).
Brendan decided to hide from my father ( “you can't see me “ ) by putting his head forward over the gun and kneeling down and lying in the chair.
My father kept trying to attract his attention by calling him Joe over and over again, but when there was no response from the child, he called my mother into the room who by picking Brendan up discovered to everyone's horror that he was convulsed --- he had turned purple--- there was total panic.
My mother ran with him in her arms into the bathroom screaming at my father to get water--- he not knowing what to do ran into the kitchen grabbed the huge copper kettle full of boiling water, and was about to pour it over Brendan, when my poor mother realized what was happening, and stopped him just in time.--- Baby would have been cooked very quickly.
"Baby lives to fight another day"
---Hooray--- -
Another day arrived bed having contracted measles awaiting the arrival of the doctor, baby gives a grunt, falls back in the bed and convulses again.
Is this never going to stop ?
No more convulsion ! we'll have to get rid of him some other way.
My mother would very seldom leave her darling sons on their own in case they ate one another, or some such thing. But there was the odd occasion when she did so.
I WAS REGARDED FOR SOME REASON AS THE PEACE MAKER
My parents left the five of us together while they went down the road to help some of the neighbours with decorating their home.
” Pat you are in charge watch them”
PICTURE IT
Brendan upstairs in bed, John for some reason goes upstairs and Brendan starts being himself. John hits him.
Loorenzo (that's Tom) chastises John for chastising Brendan -result-two big brothers get into a wrestling match over this little wretch.
John takes the sweeping brush to Lorenzo.
MURDER BREAKS OUT.
What am I to do ?
I fill a glass of water and threaten to throw it over them if they don't stop.
They threaten me in return and carry on with the murder.
They don't pay any heed to me !
1,2,3,the water goes over them.
Sudden stop of fight, they take a demonic look of anger at me, so I decide to take off, out the door and down the road like a bat out of hell screaming for my mother to save me.
They come in hot pursuit yelling that they were going to kill me.
Saved by the bell -
Literally kicking down Byrne's door
When we get home everybody's in trouble and in the dog house. However the real culprit “BABY” is sitting on the bottom step of the stairs laughing at the good of it all.
Has “Damien” arrived in our house ?
Oh how I love that child.
Brendan Culleton,
Born Wednesday 4th. Of June 1947,
16 Vavasour Square,
Bath Avenue,
Sandymount,
Dublin 4.
( Parents Patrick and Mary Ellen Culleton)
Turned from being “The bane of my life” into one of the best and most loving brothers that any person could wish for.
Happy 60th. Birthday Brendan
With lots of love from
Patrick xxx
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